When you’re just scrolling and then you suddenly find porn
When you scroll down and you keep seeing more and more
What makes this so accurate is the amount of cocks
things i was supposed to do this weekend:
- so many
things i did this weekend:
- none of that
You know what my favorite thing about the Pokemon TCG is? The attack names:
And my all-time favorite:
this is an AWFUL sex position. why did i let you talk me into this. where are my arms
i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now
i think you’re still technically gay
if u are scared or worried or stressed please just remember that even if you mess up super badly, doggies on the street will still tug on their owners when u walk by because they wanna say hello to u so badlyThis is legitimately comforting.
a moment of silence for the english teachers that have to read angsty 13 year old creative writing
a moment of silence for the university professors that have to read what amounts to the same basic thing, now with 50% more grammar and syntax and 100% more pretention
isn’t it creepy that from the day you are born you start to die
why do people freak out when they see a part of my bra or my stomach like what did you think was under my shirt?? a tank??? the great wall of china???? popular korean artist park jae sang also known as psy????????
Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.